the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
