At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
