My brain says no but my pants say off.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
