weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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