Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
