As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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