Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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