I think scott just propositioned me for sex
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
