Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
