So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
