I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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