Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
