Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
