Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
