Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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