i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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