office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
