I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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