the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
