Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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