He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so let's talk penis.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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