we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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