I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
