Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
