Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
