Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This baby is an asshole
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
