The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
COCAINE IS GR8
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
