The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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