It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Boobs speak an international language.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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