normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
