Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
