strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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