I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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