We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
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