Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
