i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
