how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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