she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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