i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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