the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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