I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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