she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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