there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
