I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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