Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
