happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
