Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
