I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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