I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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