porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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