ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
