Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Send help, water and tortillas.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
